posted on 07.13/filed under Taboo

 

 

I am a pro-choice girl, and believe in abortion and think it should be legal. However, lately I have been wondering: if I were to get pregnant tomorrow, would I have one myself? I always thought that would be the best thing to do since I don’t have the maturity, nor the money to support a child. But upon reflecting on my personal health, I realized I might have some reservations about making such a life-changing decision.

 

You see, I have a hormonal disorder called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which causes several hormonal imbalances in my body. This disorder has caused many of my insecurities, the most prominent one being increased levels of testosterone that produces facial hair, hair in my stomach, areolas and other places a woman “shouldn’t” have hair. PCOS also makes it harder for me to lose weight, more so since I’m already a plus-sized girl, and was the main cause for my acne when I was a teenager.

 

I found out I had PCOS through my dermatologist in Reynosa, Mexico, since she was the first to ask me if I had ever checked myself for cysts. She noticed my facial hair and told me she was almost sure I had a hormonal imbalance. My dad took me to the doctor and I had an ultrasound done where I was told I had no cysts whatsoever. But, just like anyone should, my parents took me to a different doctor to seek out a second opinion in Tampico, Mexico.

 

I had a second ultrasound done, and there they were: my cysts.

 

PCOS is super common and affects girls in different ways; for some it causes them to miss periods and others never get them at all. That has never been my issue; however the more I read and informed myself about the effects of PCOS, the more I realized that I could one day be infertile. Many women with PCOS struggle to become pregnant; they try their hardest but fail. To be quite honest, the possibility of not being able to have children one day scared me. I’m young now, but to know infertility could be a possibility in the future makes me sad and has made me rethink my decision to have an abortion if I were to get pregnant at this point in my life.

 

In the end, I was prescribed birth control to be able to regulate my hormones, but because of my hectic and busy lifestyle, the pill option just wasn’t for me and I stopped taking them after a while. This experience taught me to be more open about the daily struggles women encounter in both their professional and personal lives. Through this post I want women to know that if you wake up today, and you are struggling, know that there is someone else who is going through the same thing and you ARE NOT ALONE.

 

Recently, I came across this video made by one of my fave YouTubers Desi Perkinswhere she talks about having a miscarriage and struggling with pregnancy for years. I think that many women are afraid to speak about their problems because they feel a sense of embarrassment and shame. Thankfully, there are women like Desi and I who don’t mind taking the risk of starting a conversation about the uncomfortable subjects that no one wants to talk about.

I hope I can one day be a mom; it’s one of my biggest wishes. That being said, I also want other women to have the opportunity to have a legal abortion if it’s their choice to have one. God has a plan and a reason for everything that happens, and even though sometimes we might not understand those reasons, there will come a day when we will.

 

Our personal opinions and religious beliefs shouldn’t be a reason to want to change the lives of others. Let’s be understanding and non-judgmental, and have an open mind.

Women already go through so much on a daily basis, and we certainly don’t need more bs thank you very much.

 

xo,

 

M&M

 

 

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